Blog = Accountability

Here goes…

Why blog? Each blogger has a purpose behind their blogging. What’s mine? Well, to be completely honest, I am primarily embarking on this journey as a form of self-imposed personal accountability. There are things in my life with which I need to exert more discipline. Yes, I have friends with whom I have shared my goals. However, most of my goals are daily ones. Since it’s not practical – nor probably healthy – to have a friend ask me if I followed through on my disciplines each day, I thought I would start a blog as a means to help cement these things into my everyday life. This won’t be necessary forever, I’m sure. And hopefully it will evolve into something much more meaningful than sheer accountability. However, for the moment, I am simply looking to this blog as a motivator and a place to share my journey along the way.

A little background into why I need some external motivation… Ya see, I have had so many hardships in various areas of my life recently that my temptation is to get overwhelmed by it all and just do NOTHING. And that, my friend, won’t get me out of this mess – or anywhere I want to be for that matter. Seven months ago I separated from my abusive husband and placed a temporary protective order against him, was without a place to call home, lost my job, totaled my vehicle two weeks after leaving my husband, and was – still am – a very broken-spirited, depressed woman. So, to put it simply… I was husbandless, homeless, jobless, carless, and spiritless. And, no, I didn’t come from a dysfunctional family nor do drugs or have been in any other abusive relationships prior to my marriage. I had a very normal/average life until I met my husband. Nonetheless, my whole world was flipped upside down in a matter of months. As things stand now, I’m still separated from my husband. However, we are trying to see if the marriage is salvageable via lots of counseling. I’m now living with a good friend rather than staying with family three hours away or in a hotel like I was. Another friend provides me with temporary work when he has it. I do professional organizing consulting when I can find it (a profession I was once in), sell Mary Kay a little (A woman from my church has helped me get this going as a temporary supplemental income; I’m not enjoying this.), and temp work when I can get it via a temp agency. After two and a half months without a car, I finally found one that was at a good price for the value and was able to get it financed, thankfully. Until then, another friend who had the summer off from work drove me to places when it was too far for me to bike or take a bus. My church provided me with a gift card to a local grocery store and much needed emotional and spiritual support. I’m still battling some depression – though I say this with no official diagnosis or medication having been prescribed. I truly believe if I can just get to a place where I am living my life in greater alignment with my personal values, I will get to a better place mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually. These values that I speak of are: God, relationships, passions/gifts, work. Being without consistent work has left me with a lot of extra time on my hands. So, I’m faced with choosing whether to do good with all of this time I have right now or wallow in my unfortunate circumstances. I want to do good with it. Therefore, I will also take advantage of this blog by requesting your prayers, support and encouragement in doing this. Here are my goals.

Each day…

  • Pray
  • Exercise for at least 30 minutes (mon-fri) — each month I accomplish 20 workouts, I will treat myself with 1 of 6 professional massages that were given to me
  • Apply for 5 jobs (mon-fri) — if I do this, I can watch a tv show or movie in the evening if I want
  • Read/Study the Word — currently doing a book of Proverbs study that should end January 31
  • Do at least one kind/loving thing for someone else

Each week…

  • Make at least 1 piece of art
  • Spend extensive time in nature
  • Journal
  • Attend gospel community group meeting
  • Volunteer at local Hospice House
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